The French pickup line from an Italian girl’s perspective

Written by Elena, on blog Italiani Pocket, September 20th 2010.
Translated by Kari Parrott. See the original article in Italian
Article also translated in:

1. THE FRENCH SUBURBAN CREEP

You’re walking down the street and you hear a somewhat creepy voice say:

“Eh mademoiselle, t’es charmante” (with a yo-yo hip-hop tone, meaning “Hey Miss, you are truly enchanting”). You turn around and see the guy with his cap on backwards, in his silver jumpsuit with one leg rolled up and the other down, gold gym shoes and a hideous chain and you want to say to him: “Have you seen yourself?? And you think that line is going to work?”… I don’t think so!
If you respond like this however, you risk a strong reaction (I speak from personal experience). Better to paste a false smile on your face and say “Merci” and keep walking. If the creep continues with “Allez, mademoiselle, on va boire un verre?” (Hey, miss, wanna get a drink?), keep smiling and walk away.

Meanwhile, in Rome…

“Ao’, à bella! C’hai er culo che te parla? Vieni qua!” (Hey, beautiful, does that ass do the talking for you? Come over here!”)

“Have you seen yourself? Leave me alone already!”

“E daje!” (Come on!)

“No thanks”

“E ‘nnamo!” (Come on!!)

“No”

“E suuu!” (Come on!!!)

“Watch me call the police!”

“Ok, ciao”

2. THE FRENCHMAN OF A THOUSAND WORDS

Still on the street, a Frenchman comes up to you who you’re not really into, or perhaps you’re already in a relationship (in both cases the magic words that let him know this will be of great use).

The young Frenchman says to you: “Good afternoon, Ma’am. I followed you from the subway (one, he called me ma’am, this is ok, that is normal here, but two, why has he followed me?) and I find you truly enchanting. I was wondering if you would not find it too disagreeable to have a drink with me”…I’m not kidding that’s really how they talk here!

Then you drop the magic words: “Oh, thank you very much, you’re very kind, but I’m on my way home, my boyfriend is waiting for me. Maybe another time.”

And here the young Frenchman leaves you with a: “Ok, no problem. It has been a pleasure anyway. Good day”…

Meanwhile, in Rome…

“Ao’, bella, te stavo a spizzà da prima! S’annamo a beve qualcosa?” (Hey, beautiful, I’ve been checkin’ you out! Wanna get a drink?)

“No thanks, I have a boyfriend and I’m headed home.”

“E io mica sò geloso!” (Hey, I’m not the jealous type!)

“Really, no thanks, I’m not interested.”

“Ma nun te preoccupà che dopo che m’hai conosciuto t’ennamori!” (Don’t worry, baby, you’ll love me once you get to know me!)

“Watch me call the police!”

“Ok, ciao”

3. THE CLINGY FRENCHMAN

You’re at a party or out dancing or wherever, and you’re having some fun with your friends.

There’s a young Frenchman who catches your eye and you decide to give in a little to his avances just for fun, believing that he’d forget all about you by the next day… only…

… the next day your young Frenchman calls you (did you give him your number?) he calls you “ma chérie”, he wants to go out with you, he holds your hand and almost asks you to go with him to Ikea on Saturday as if you had been together for years!

The only way to get rid of him unfortunately is to be mean! No magic words this time, a “Oh sweetheart, I was drunk and I was just having some fun, but now we have to say goodbye!” will do.

4. THE DRUNKEN FRENCHMAN

You’re at a party or out dancing, or wherever, and there’s a young Frenchman who’s just your type, but who is usually closed off, serious and reserved. That evening, however, he grinds with you all evening and you think you have finally made some inroads into his heart… the problem is… the next day he pretends to not remember anything (or maybe he really doesn’t remember?).

The problem in this city is that everyone is focused on ambitions, goals and competition, and during the week this turns into stress, seriousness and in some cases frustration.

The only thing that justifies the fact that people are out having fun is the fact that they’re completely drunk. On the weekend they change (some better than others) under the influence of alcohol… sure, they’re not as bad as the English, but quand même…